building walls

So there you are, around the corner. Oh I remember you well. I am not gonna hide the fact that I am arming myself again. To the teeth it will be. I have seen you through. I'll see you through again.


hello there,

"how you doing? can I take you out for a cup of coffee?" is what I wanted to say. I believed that, that unspoken conversation of our eyes could mean more. Every time I tried to corner you, there was an external agent foiling it. I came around many times hoping to catch an opportunity. But then, it was too late and everyone was leaving. I still waited at the driveway. Thats when I saw you walking cozy with that boyfriend, three times my size.

Sigh! No, I am not a fighter. I retired for the night. There sure is another game, another night.


Dragging that stone along

Its amazing how a bottle of whisky still finds its way through the shattered wallet. Would have loved it to be something else, but its still something. And, the something was something I needed, looks like.

In the last one year, life did change quite a bit. From what seemed like a random night, it extended to a meaningful relationship. A lot was learnt. A lot was given. And, then it was time to part.. yet again. But life does move on. Guess, old wounds have taught you much.

Mostly, it feels like square one. But, it is not actually. I have consciously told a client to fuck off because they were not paying enough. The company is taking new turns, new objectives, new strategy. All within that negative balance sheet.

But hopes does exist. In a new way, in every new day. :)


Domino effects, crunch times

So, there was this quick consultation job that was fetching handsome. But, I had to slog for 4 days to do some research for it before I can go there. And, I sit down to do it. But then, after day one, Dad falls sick. So, the rest of the three days, I am shuttling between house and hospital with a bag full of books. I did manage to do the reading in between breaks, to a good extent. And, when the day 4 comes along, I find that I am falling sick too.

Its like every force in the world going out of its way to stop me. :-/ Maybe this one was not meant to be. Grr..



For a brief while I really thought things were moving with work. But then, it went back straight to square one; cleaned out bank accounts and per-day budgeting. I am quite amazed at how life is teaching me by unwrapping itself slowly and painfully. I am extremely glad that I can see it as 'teaching' and not drown in it. But still, this thing needs a closure. The perceived easier path is always around the corner, tempting. But I shall hold my fort. Not giving up yet.


Knowing thyself

"The greatest con that he ever pulled was making you believe that he is you"
Everyone one of us has heard this voice in our head at every junction. And, THIS voice has made us take those turns we have. For some, it could have been the best. For others it was the worst.  Immaterial, we always let IT take us to where IT wants to.

Is this another IT to blame? Or are we just looking for reasons to blame? :-/

Ref: Revolver