So, its another year behind.. almost.

Nothing has turned any better. Does feel quite heavy.. But, I am in no mood to hang my head low. Heh. :)

I am smiling at you bitch. Bring it on.. I am waiting to see what you've got.



Is it the fluttering thin black drape,
Or the scent thrown by the flowing tresses,
Or the featured silhouette defined by the headlights,
I have no idea. Could be a flaunt.
But, with such filling beauty.. why would I want to doubt?


Alcohol overdose

Sitting on a pier that extends into Cochin's seas, viewing the new harbour being built and downing beer.. All the while promising each other to go slow and hold up till evening :D Sigh! It was a surreal experience. I wish we had places like this in Madras. And we did 'hold up' to continue the evening at a wedding party, on whose excuse we had gathered. Finally, the mix of beer rum and whisky brought about 'the snake bite', a little before 2:00 next morning. And we slept like babies :)


humanity, the godly property

On the way, the silly bike decides to stall at 3k before home. And, the rain was still pouring. Kick. Kick. Kick.. no use. It was already 22:15. Drenched to my bones, the only options were to curse everything possible and start pushing the bike home.

This passing by biker, equally drenched stops and enquires. Attempts his luck at the kick-start. With no results, says, "Hop on, I'll tow you home". And, he tows me all the way home. I thank him and invite him over for a coffee. He replies, "Its alright. Wont you help someone stuck, when you can? Its just that". I was touched. Humanity, still exists. :)


The destination, a dim shimmer, a couple of kilometers away, just a fraction of whats behind. The musical blurb, gradually fading away behind a blend of the heart's rhythm with the lung's harmonics. Witnessing a handful of air rushing in and out. Experiencing life in its rawest form. With no conscious control of the body. A heightened sense of solitude. A perfect disconnect from the world around. Can you really understand.. this conversation with god?


johnny, johnny

Dad : Johnny, did you see those cookies?
Johnny : I did not steal it. How dare you accuse me of stealing it? What do you think of blah blah blah..


Now, this is QUITE a story :)

So, there was this girl who 'apparently' saw me talk gibberish on some stage, in some college, and wanted to be an 'academic acquaintance (AA)'. She calls a friend of a friend whom she has never met, gives my description and asks to locate my contacts. This friend of a friend, in whose college I had spoken, contacts someone in my college, gets my contact and passes it on to her.

Now, I absolutely love paper-presentation events that happen in Engineering colleges, BTW. Its super fun to drill the presenters with questions. Coz, most of the time, they have zero idea on what they are talking about. And, I dont need an invite to go sit in a paper-presentation event. I am a shameless geek you see :P I have sat in random events, in random colleges, questioning random people, just because I saw a huge ass 'symposium happening here' sign/banner on the road :P

One fine evening, the AA wannabe calls and starts with "Guess who this is. I am the one you drilled with questions on blah-blah-blah paper presentation occasion blah-blah-blah.. I have been wanting to meet some cool guys like you so that I can learn something". You see, I was (and am) this NICE guy who does not know how to say 'fck off'. So, I talk. She claimed involvement in 'defense projects' but failed to prove knowledge equivalent to a freshman. Heck, she did not even know that 'E=mc squared' is Einstein's equation. I was not impressed. But, me being the nice guy, did not say 'fck off'. AA wannabe successfully established herself as an AA.

Years rolled. AA announces that she got a job in madras, and that she wants to meet up. Now, I have never seen her. And, her dumbness was so prominent that I did not even want to see her. I pulled up reasons and kept delaying. But one fine day, I had no other go but to say yes. I was like.. 'alright.. just one coffee. Thats not gonna hurt'. A week later, AA calls and screams at me that I did not wish her on her birthday. I was like, DUH!. Then the pestering to meet up started again.

The second time was heights. Now, she is not 'not beautiful'.. she is outright UGLY. She had this artificial walk, inch thick make-up, some jing-chak dress, fake accent, bad grammar, bad pronunciation, etc etc. She claimed she was being begged to accept the next 'miss universe' title. She claimed that she was getting tonnes of movie opportunities. She was explaining to me how she was a celebrity in the making.

At this juncture, I decided enough is enough and stopped taking her calls. There were days with 10+ missed calls. On one such day, my then girl-friend gave me this brilliant idea of taking the call and saying "I am out with my girl-friend". That actually worked. She just stopped calling. I was like WOOHOO :) A couple of months went by, and then she called from a different number. This time, she made a huge statement. She was like, "You made a mistake Joe, you lost the opportunity you had. You'll never get an opportunity like this ever in your life. You'll see me climb heights beyond your imagination, and will think of this day. You will feel bad that you ditched me. You will feel bad and beg for me to come back, but I wont. I will watch you beg. blah blah blah".. I was like, "WHAAA? Go see a shrink" and hung up. That was the last bit.

Today, more than three years later.. I noticed someone from my friends list on Facebook comment on someone else's comment/wall-post/pic/*. The 'someone else's name happened to be 'AA's. I looked up, and indeed it was her. What a small world :P So, what has she become? She has become an uglier self-proclaimed celebrity, beauty-queen, technocrat, activist, what-not :P. She has become four times her size and looks like a rolling ball. She calls herself a 'model' coz she paid someone to make a portfolio. She is an actress because she attends crappy award functions that dont require an invite. She is a 'party animal' coz she has had an alcoholic drink for the third time in her life. She is a celebrity because she runs her own website with pictures she put up. She was partially right, about me remembering that day she made her 'statement' :P, though for all the wrong reasons. So, this is what she meant by 'climb heights' :P

Holy God, you know that I dont believe in your existence. But but please, for the sake of idiots like this, please do exist.

Edit-1: Forgot the disclaimer. "Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental". This is just a story :P



Hey.. hello there. How you doing? Nice. See.. I dont come with a baggage. I hope you dont too. Just want to, you know, a warm place to go to sleep at. So, can I come in? I wont be a bother.. I'll be gone when you want me gone. I promise.


This place, I thought, was shut long back. But still there. Blaming me that I was not knocking. Sending my protests to thin air. Filling with that sweet enchantment. That comfortable feeling. Sigh! Just a dream. Another poke at my decisions. And fate playing hard ball. What life.


Where is that fcking paycheque?. :-/

Me : [ look ]
She: [ look ]
Me : [ keep looking ]
She: [ keep looking ]
Me : [ slight smile ]
She: [ slightly wider smile ]
Me : [ wide smile and nod ]
She: Hey.. wat up?
Me : Downing coffee and trying to forget work
She: Hah. I am X..
Me : I am Y.
She: So, what plans for the evening?
Me : [ pause ] Nothing actually. Too broke for anything.
She: [ pause pause ] Aw.. Bad times huh. Alright, me got to be going. Sometime later.
Me : Sure thing. Sometime later.

Run, Star Rock, Cops..

The run was not bad. Consistent and long enough. The beer that followed was warm and flat :-/. But Star Rock, definitely rocked :)

Emptied half a bottle of Listerine to fool the cops on the way, if any. Two minutes from home, a patrol stopped me.

Cop: Where are you coming from?
Me : Went for a run at the marina. Getting back home.

Cop takes a close look at me and recognizes me. It is the same patrol that warned about possible dangers, running late at night on the roads.

Cop: You dont run here anymore?
Me : Twice a week I run at the marina. 10km on the sand is like 20km on the road.
Cop: Ok Ok.. go on.

No breath test :) Sigh!



Its the same old feeling. I am just lost. Broken pieces of glass. Dreams of a fresh start. The chase.. the never ending chase. The attempts and the falls. Everything seems fit, but nothing in place. Questioning the choices. But in no mood to fall back and regret.

Hopes are still high. But still that heavy feeling..


Madras.. Madras.. Madras..

Phew. I am back.. for now :) Have been guzzling every alternate day in the past 9 days I've been here :) I so so missed Zarras.

'Le Waterina', in Thiruvanmiyur promises to be open till 4:00 AM. Got sloshed last night in an attempt to get a birthday boy drunk :P Still wobbling around.

Still broke :-/

Craving for KFC.. Guess I'll head there right away.


Ode to..

It looks like KFC..
It talks like KFC..
Even smells like KFC..
..Oh but I got wise..
Its a time-bomb in disguise.. oh yes it is.,
a time-bomb in disguise..

Lesson: Do not get tempted by those half page ads of 'Planet Chicken, Coimbatore'..



Coimbatore is freaking hot. Madras is a lot lot better. Anybody who wants to taste my foot can step forward and deny that.

The Residency at coimbatore surprised the shit out of me by saying 'no stag entry' on saturday evening. WHA?? When did YOU guys get this pricey.

Finally managed to spruce up that boring one hour plus drive from the hotel to the factory. We got Jethro Tull and Jimi Hendrix for company baby :)

Hmm.. Work is er.. Pretty :D


Give me a glass of whisky, and you can have my soul..



But sweetheart, I've run 100 miles.. what difference is this last one gonna make?


Running through life..

The first feel of feet on wet sand; The perfect sculpture in a drape of blue; Tresses weaving patterns in the wind; The heart's rhythm at the tenth mile; The warmth of a random whiff of subtle perfume; The silent hiss of air past the ear at 100kmph; The sound of waves crashing between the switching of songs; The burn of whisky flowing down the throat; Coffee that breaks the smell of emptiness; The shudder caused by the first touch; The blissful aura of a couple holding hands; The jitter in a well rehearsed pick up line; The incapable feeling of a drunken high; The buttery bitterness of black chocolate; The deep loud burp after a binge of gluttony; The awe that a view from a flight brings; Fishes nibbling on the fingers; The content feeling of a hug; The mindless glee of a little child; The belongingness at being held; The perception of life below from ten storeys high; Jim Morrison reciting in 'An american prayer'; The feel of flowing water; The dance of bubbles in a freshly poured mug of beer; A cold shower on a hot day; The smooth wet skin of a woman;

ah, the little pleasures of life.


The first tatoo :)

Finally ..