close that book.. damn it.

Alright, thats it. I aint taking no more. I had enough of reading that javascript book. I hardly slept for an hour today. So, I am just gonna sip on the remaining chivas and forget that the world exists.

Finally after 3 weeks I managed to fix my watch. And, I got a nice strap too :)

Hmm.. the whiskey is losing the flavour. Should get done with this bottle ASAP and get another one. But I hate downing it without revere. I wish I had a personal refrigerator up here in my room to store it. Hmm.. I got to move out to my own place.. Got to.

After some inquiring with friends, looks like the Goa Woodstock thing is just a rumour. Hmm. I so so wanted to be there. I so badly wanted to get away that I was dreaming of it. Boss is talking about a road-trip to the elephant corridor near kothagiri on his new gypsy king. Now that should be good fun. I hope it happens.

Its been really a long time since I did one of those wild trips. I am starting to miss them terribly. And I have been staying away from the hash for quite a long time also. I hate to see how I have come to compromise those things that I loved the most. But, this is just temporary (hopefully). I am out to catch that dream I dreamt long back. Soon I'll know where I am getting to. Whether I'll be there or not.

I miss the siruvani hills near karunya. They were so fcking beautiful. So perfect. Those streams, those elephants, the thick forests.. Ah. I wish I could wind back time to go back to karunya and do better than what I did. BTW, Mr.DGS Dinakaran passed away (old news). I said amen to him with a good glass of whiskey. That guy was something. I remember the way he said "what (money) you give me is peanuts" (that was after 60+k a year after the huge capitation fees which many paid and I luckily had not to). I hope he is comfortable rotting in hell.

I happened to look at the pictures of some of my kinder-garden/primary-school teachers today. Had a nice feeling inside. I think I should go visit them some time. I dont know how many of them are still alive :-S. Innocence is ultimate bliss. You dont know the world, you dont have to know it either. You just exist in your own dreams, doing your own thing. I was into Cubs back in primary school. I remember sitting in the circle and crying out "Akela.. we'll do our best".. Those camp days in school.

Hmm.. got to run for a refill. brb.

Ok.. I am not gonna down this thing like a madman. I sure did miss it. But, still that aint no excuse for gulping it with no respect.

No one except Chacko turned up at work today. Was heavily distracted with music and other nostalgic thoughts. Was thinking about the days in High School. The scouting, the NCC. I wanted to join the forces. But, at a point I got cornered into Engineering. I am not regretting. Good for me that I realized that I am better at computers that with the gun (I still do love them though).

School memories dug up those old memories of G. I felt very bad about how things had to go rot to this extent between us (No its not rebounding.. I am perfectly happy). One thing I regret with the whole thing is the way how we had to fall out of touch. I just have no clue about what she is upto now. That is bad. After knowing a person so intimately for six years, being clueless about that person's existance is pathetic. I feel very bad about that. I should make sure such a thing does not happen again. No matter what shit happens, the time that was spent together means something. So, it definitely is not acceptable to completely lose contact.

Alright. I am not getting into that shit now. Not with a glass of whiskey around :P. It is a bit stale.. but still.

But now I laugh at what I was. The silly hopeless romantic teenager who thought that he can shape his world all on his own. Who thought things were way too simple. Growing up does make a lot of changes. I think, as long as we can look back and have good laugh about the whole thing, its fine. I remember talking to this guy in first year of college (I forgot his name, I remember his face. He was in the next room), about how I have my entire life planned out in front of me. Do the BE, get the job, get married to G, and live happily for ever after. :D But oh, before the end of Engineering, I figured thats not how its gonna be. Things changed. And then ME happened, and a lot more changed. And once education was done, the whole shit turned around. And, now I look back at the whole series of events and am laughing my ass off :D.

Was talking to some of my high-school friends a couple of weeks back on IM, and I suddenly got pulled into the old world because they thought I was still the same guy. The hopeless romantic desperately waiting for the glance my lady. It was in a way awkward, but good that I figured that shit happens and decided to just laugh about it. Same way I smiled away when rajay got a heart-attack seeing me stylishly light up a cancer stick with my zippo. Well, back in college I used to get sick when someone smokes near me. :P

Hmmm.. life is so fucking funny. Now, I know that in another 10 years down the lane I'll laugh at what I am doing now :P I guess change is the only constant. And drafting elaborate plans is just futile. Heh. Just got to sit back and take things the way they come.. :D

LOL. started with that javascript/ajax book and look where I got to.. I say whiskey rocks. :) Now am in a good mood to do some reading. Guess I'll get a refill and get back to that book ;)

EDIT 1: Ah.. ran out of cancer sticks.. Grr.. Ah.. "Purple haze.. in my head..", forgot to mention.. Jimi Hendrix rocks. Rocks totally. :)

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