I see what you offer.
I see that its open for all.
I see that me taking it does not make it unavailable.
I see that taking it is pointless.
I am gonna walk away.
And you wont see why.
Ha. What a laugh.


wow.. er.... ah..

Super hot babe walks in.
Totally unrelated ugly blob of a husband follows.
Outside., the husband brings a merc to pick his wife up.


music happy.. yeah again.. :P

When sea waves crush they hit me hard
But I do not feel them
And then, reality is no more real, to me
I ask myself, should I end it now
And join her at last?
I miss the cold embrace of lust
Nothing left, just a dust

.. I am starting to fall in love with Orphaned Land... :)

EDIT 1: Tell me.. What is better than Music and Whisky??


chivas.. chivas.. my faithful, loyal friend.. another 6 larges left.. and a tear rolls down.. chokes.. leaves me blank.. how long?

'hey santa, pass us a bottle will ya?'


Google's sponsored link on gmail says;

Kissing is an art...a French kiss is a signal. Learn why.



doctors, engineers, mono music..

In an over-enthusiastic state of mind (read 'an attack of OCD'), I swabbed my ears a bit hard it developed into an infection. Gave me a couple of painful nights and forced me to the hospital. Since the ENT guy was on rounds, I was forwarded to the General physician. I told him I have an ear infection. He takes a look at my ear, thinks for a while, and runs off to bring someone else. The other guy comes, takes a closer look and concludes.. "You got an ear infection sir" (duh!!) "I'll fix you an appointment with the ENT guy so that he can have a closer look at you".. hmm.. and I thought Engineers were bad :-S

The ENT guy wrote the prescription and said "You should stay away from alcohol for a while. It reacts badly with the antibiotic". Uh.. Did not know it was written all over my face :-S

The infection had gone to the extent of entirely blocking my left ear. Its like, I have only one functioning ear at the moment (no I am not deaf, yet). After keeping away from music for a week, I could take it no longer. Inspite of my headphones blaring away the best it can, it still sounds like the left speaker aint working. This is worse than mono music :(


the rat.. the whisky.. the sleep..

I was almost asleep.. tucked comfy in bed, and i heard the rat-trap snap. Wanted to make sure i got the fcker, so got out of bed. And, sure i have :) This elusive bugger has been causing havoc for quite a while, and here he is trapped. yay. Felt sorry for the silly idiot. So, fixed myself a whisky and sat next to him for a small chat. Figured that rats are not such social beings. Hence, I decided to break the ice and share some whisky with him. Dipped a ear-bud in the whisky and offered it to him. He sure does understand good whisky. After some three bud dips of whisky our dude settles down without causing a racket. Hmm. Its so sad that they creatures dont get have the fun we have. Poor things.

Looks like I am back to square one. Now that my sleep got disturbed before it started, it is refusing to come back. :-S Gonna gulp this glass fast and start the counting routine. Cannot afford to lose sleep tonight. Too much work scheduled for tomorrow.. which is a couple of hours away..


six quirky things about me

Tagged by 'Apeeta'.

Alright, here it goes:

1. I cannot stop from makin faces when in front of the camera.

2. I headbang like an idiot when driving, even when not listening to music.

3. I like carrying a bucket of fried chicken and walk around the mall eating them.

4. I tend to jump from one topic to another, and in the end forget what I was trying to say in the first place :-S

5. I am bad at understanding jokes.

6. I get a high on brain-freeze.

A tull that is not so tull

I am quite annoyed that "The broadsword and the beast" just does not sound like a tull album :(


killing the poor little watersnake

I came home this eve to find my parents freaking out about a snake that had curled up behind a flower pot near the door. In an attempt to kill it, dad broke its back. It could move, just not fast enough. But definitely fast enough to make a oooh or aaah run around the gathering every time our poor-snake decided to move its head around.

People peering into our campus from the neighbouring houses to get
updates on the snake-story were hushing amongst themselves
contemplating what snake it could be. They tried their intelligence at
everything.. krait, viper, cobra, asp.. but missed the most obvious one..
a harmless simple 'watersnake' that comes around during the rains :-S

A neighbour even brought a small bowl of milk and a piece of camphor and lit it up in front of the snake. The logic behind the act being: the snake will see the camphor, understand that we mean no harm to it, drink the milk, and happily crawl away. She obviously forgot the fact that with a broken back the snake aint gonna move anywhere out.

I could not take the joke any longer, and put an end to the snake's agony with a crowbar.


Another music-happy mood :)

Out of an ivory mist
I felt a stinging kiss
And saw a crimson stain on her lips

I have a bunch of Opeth lying around somewhere amongst my pile of CDs. Got to look for it. I am having this insatiable urge to listen to 'windowpane' by opeth, and i am just not happy with youtube versions.. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh....


we want the world, and we want it ....................... now.



grokking the whisky

Do you ever speak to your glass of whisky? Or any drink for that matter? Speak as in, hold it in front of you, smile that genuine affectionate smile, feel nostalgic and talk sweet words? If I am doing that right now, am I drunk? But well, I am typing this post without back-spacing too much. Even a first run of a 2000+ lines of c++ code which I wrote just before starting this post did not go bad. No I am not drunk.. I am just talking.. ;)

If some moron tells me how glenfiddich rocks, I am gonna shove my shoe into his mouth. And my shoe has seen a lot of dirty places.. all over the country. The alcohol stings your nose after you swallow. Try a swig of chivas after a glenfiddich, you'll know what I am talking about. But it could be possible that the bottle I tried was a fake/old/mis-handled. Considering I picked it up from a random guy i met at Coffee Day. :-S But I am not blowing up another 2k just to make sure I was not wrong. I'll wait for a free bottle from someone ;)

Oh yeah, the birthday happened. By the beach, with the beer. But was literally waiting for the clock to strike 12. bah~. Another year went by just like that, and I am still here in square one. I dont want to make a crib-fest out of this post considering it started good. So I am off to fill up again.

Edit 1: Oh!! BTW, I just realized .. I crossed that 100 posts mark. Well.. just blah as ever.


The 'begging' industry

Consider some moderately busy traffic signal in chennai. It throws a red-signal approximately once in 5 minutes. On an average, say we have 10 red-signals in an hour. A begger manages to collect atleast Rs.5 in one such red-signal. So, in an hour he/she makes Rs.50. If the begger works for 10 hours a day, he/she makes Rs.500 in a day. Supposing this begger works for 5 days a week, then he/she makes Rs.2500 a week. Which is Rs.10000 in a month.

An enterprising begger could have some kind of a piggy-bank to collect all money for a month so that he/she gets the monthly amount as a one-time pay cheque.

No wonder we have so many beggers in the city.

Edit 1: Remember that these guys dont pay tax. Nor are they included in the calculation of average Indian income (which is way way less than Rs.10000).


Whoa.. what a weekend..

Had a really good weekend. Friday night was a rather sober one. Saturday night landed up at a birthday party. Was drinking till 4:00 in the morning. I crashed for a while and woke up at 8:00 to find that the party was still on. After a quick wash/* started the day with more whiskey :)

And, sunday evening was 'chicken and foosball'. We played so much that our wrists hurt :P

I made it to baywatch on saturday. I _do_not_ like the new look. Its just not that cozy lil place any more :-S


The 'not so short' trip.

It was planned just for three days. Of which we were going to be on the road for two days. So, basically two nights and a day at Wild Haven (masinagudi). However, a couple of torn tyres got us stranded there for another two days. It was fun inspite of the excessive damage to the wallet. It sure was fun to be completely disconnected from the world. :)

We were blessed with constant supply beer and whiskey for the five days, 3 herds of deer parading along the resort every evening, a bonfire every night, amazing food and thankfully no hangovers inspite of the shocking levels of alcohol. And there was this cute lil dog called 'soda' who does not know how to bark. She is the sweetest thing ever. Finally got around to trying beedi. Hmm.. not bad. :D

BTW, this happens to be the 100th post on this blog. Sheesh.. :P

Edit-1: Apparently, Soda's mom's name is Whiskey.. :P

"I am fighting for my future"


Why then are you so surprised to hear your own eulogy?

Tripping on "Tool - Eulogy".. pretty strong words.

Anywayz, life has been the usual shit. Work, work and more work :) No, I am not complaining. Waiting for the most awaited get-away :) I hope nothing comes around to fck that up, coz then I'll be one angry man :P

A friend stated today that I am too stuck up with my choices on music. That I am not open to new music. Well, I usually ignore such comments. But this time I was thinking. Actually he is right. I have not added any new band into my collection in the past three or four months. I am indeed a bit choosy when it comes to music. But its not that I am not open to new music. Its just I dont have the patience/time to give others a shot. Or maybe I am still not fed up with the collection I have ;) Well, whatever be it, I have made a decision to checkout atleast one new band each month. Lets see how this works out.. :P

After cursing coffee-day over and over for the crappy coffee-powder they sold me, I lately figured that I was the idiot who went and bought a dark-roast coffee. I did not read the junk on the box. stupid me. They dont have light-roast, but do have medium-roast, which is not bad at all. I actually like it :)

I have an inch of dust gathered up on my floor.. and my bed has switched roles with the wardrobe. Looks like i have a lot of cleaning up to do this weekend.

My jacket is in tatters. I tried every shop in town. No body seems to be selling jackets anymore. What the hell. And even if some one has a jacket, its filled with stupid labels and embroidery of all sorts. Why the hell is so much of bling-junk coming into Chennai. Even levis.. bah. Whatever happened to the 'plain is beautiful' idea. Am I growing old?



Recently got to know that my first love got married. No, i am not angry. Nor am I jealous or heartbroken or whatever of that sort. But I was a bit sad that she never bothered to even tell me. Heh, funny how years of being together did not matter even a bit.


and life goes on..

Got completely wasted on Friday .. yay :)

I made it to the hash again on sunday.. :) Totally happy with myself for it. It was one good run with lots of beer :)

Last evening's thunder fried another router at office. Thats adds up to the heap of fried routers.. Hmm. the heap of fried hardware at office is separate from this.

I am listening to 'cemetery gates - pantera' the third time in a row now.. The next queued song is 'purple haze - jimi hendrix'.. but still that has not tempted me enough to stop me from replaying this over and over. Not that I like this better than 'purple haze'.. just the moment I guess. The guitaring is affecting me too much.. a build up of strong emotion.. :-S

Chennai is finally chilling down a bit. It is still hot, but atleast there is some cool sea breeze. Absolute beer weather.. :D But, what is not 'beer weather'?? ;)

Yay... purple haze is on "... excuse me while i kiss the sky ...".. :)

BTW, I got myself a creative zen. My phone batteries were getting drained too much because of playing music on it.. so, went ahead and got myself this cutie. Went with a decision to get a sansa e200, but ended up with a creative zen. No.. I dont want an iPod even if I get it free. And this sweet thing lasts 3 days before dying out. :)

Ah.. gawd.. another beautiful song is on..

(Well) I know, I know, you'll probably scream and cry
that your little world won't let you go
But who in your measly little world, (-uh)
are you tryin' to prove to that you're
made out of gold and-uh, can't be sold

Jimi is brilliant..


Innovative indian brains..

proving we are "software" people??


random as ever..

Its been eons that i made it to the hash. A lot of factors were holding me back.. Finally I just took that step. decided to put things behind no matter what and do what I love doing. Was not bad at all.. :) Ended up walking/running on 8+km of terrain which included a lot of isolated beach. Yes you still have lovely beaches in chennai.. just got to look in the right places ;).

Boss touched me deep within by taking us out for beer lunch (which prolonged close to dinner), on us (me and another guy) completing 3 years in his company.. He is the best travel+drink buddy. Somehow I never realized it would be that deep.

And I happened to see one of my childhood crushes (Gautami :P) and was quite dissappointed that she aint that babe anymore. Hmm.. I am dumping her.. :P

I actually stood outside cornucopia for 10 mins straight contemplating whether I should go in and have that steak, after a heavy lunch at karaikudi chettinad. :-S

Summer aint funny at all... :(

Edit1: Just ran out of whiskey.. :((

Edit2: Well, in the end of it I just gave in and had that steak.. It was a mighty good one.. I should say. :)


"Got to watch" ads.. Funny :)

Virgin Mobile-Funny Indian Commercial - Virgin Mobile India

Virgin Mobile Commercial - Funny Indian Commercial

Edit: From, http://bonappetite.blogspot.com/2008/03/virgin-tata-tie-up.html]


kids.. kids..

I settled into the chair, finally rested my back. Lit up a cigarette, waved for a coffee and started looking around. This kid of 14, 2 tables across, is holding a cigar, looking all proud. I was thinking to myself, that all I could afford was the stupid cigarette. The kid and his companion kid are doing the yo-yo talk, wearing the yo-yo clothes. He sees me watching, decides to show off, drags deep on the cigar, and blew it through his nose. My eyes popped and I dropped my cigarette. I did think before I did the act. Walked up to the table, and told him "You'll die in a month if you smoke that cigar like you smoke a cigarette". Kid's ego bubbled up like a baloon, retorts back, "I know to smoke, you dont have to teach me".

I nodded to myself in dissapproval. Kids these days.. They dont know. And they dont want to learn..



If you can just get your mind together
Uh-then come on across to me
Well hold hands and then well watch the sunrise
From the bottom of the sea
But first, are you experienced?
Uh-have you ever been experienced-uh?
Well, I have
(well) I know, I know, youll probably scream and cry
That your little world wont let you go
But who in your measly little world, (-uh)
Are you tryin to prove to that youre
Made out of gold and-uh, cant be sold
So-uh, are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced? (-uh)
Well, I have
Uh, let me prove it to you, yeah
Trumpets and violins I can-uh, hear in the distance
I think theyre callin our name
Maybe now you cant hear them,
But you will, ha-ha, if you just
Take hold of my hand
Ohhh, but are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?
Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful

close that book.. damn it.

Alright, thats it. I aint taking no more. I had enough of reading that javascript book. I hardly slept for an hour today. So, I am just gonna sip on the remaining chivas and forget that the world exists.

Finally after 3 weeks I managed to fix my watch. And, I got a nice strap too :)

Hmm.. the whiskey is losing the flavour. Should get done with this bottle ASAP and get another one. But I hate downing it without revere. I wish I had a personal refrigerator up here in my room to store it. Hmm.. I got to move out to my own place.. Got to.

After some inquiring with friends, looks like the Goa Woodstock thing is just a rumour. Hmm. I so so wanted to be there. I so badly wanted to get away that I was dreaming of it. Boss is talking about a road-trip to the elephant corridor near kothagiri on his new gypsy king. Now that should be good fun. I hope it happens.

Its been really a long time since I did one of those wild trips. I am starting to miss them terribly. And I have been staying away from the hash for quite a long time also. I hate to see how I have come to compromise those things that I loved the most. But, this is just temporary (hopefully). I am out to catch that dream I dreamt long back. Soon I'll know where I am getting to. Whether I'll be there or not.

I miss the siruvani hills near karunya. They were so fcking beautiful. So perfect. Those streams, those elephants, the thick forests.. Ah. I wish I could wind back time to go back to karunya and do better than what I did. BTW, Mr.DGS Dinakaran passed away (old news). I said amen to him with a good glass of whiskey. That guy was something. I remember the way he said "what (money) you give me is peanuts" (that was after 60+k a year after the huge capitation fees which many paid and I luckily had not to). I hope he is comfortable rotting in hell.

I happened to look at the pictures of some of my kinder-garden/primary-school teachers today. Had a nice feeling inside. I think I should go visit them some time. I dont know how many of them are still alive :-S. Innocence is ultimate bliss. You dont know the world, you dont have to know it either. You just exist in your own dreams, doing your own thing. I was into Cubs back in primary school. I remember sitting in the circle and crying out "Akela.. we'll do our best".. Those camp days in school.

Hmm.. got to run for a refill. brb.

Ok.. I am not gonna down this thing like a madman. I sure did miss it. But, still that aint no excuse for gulping it with no respect.

No one except Chacko turned up at work today. Was heavily distracted with music and other nostalgic thoughts. Was thinking about the days in High School. The scouting, the NCC. I wanted to join the forces. But, at a point I got cornered into Engineering. I am not regretting. Good for me that I realized that I am better at computers that with the gun (I still do love them though).

School memories dug up those old memories of G. I felt very bad about how things had to go rot to this extent between us (No its not rebounding.. I am perfectly happy). One thing I regret with the whole thing is the way how we had to fall out of touch. I just have no clue about what she is upto now. That is bad. After knowing a person so intimately for six years, being clueless about that person's existance is pathetic. I feel very bad about that. I should make sure such a thing does not happen again. No matter what shit happens, the time that was spent together means something. So, it definitely is not acceptable to completely lose contact.

Alright. I am not getting into that shit now. Not with a glass of whiskey around :P. It is a bit stale.. but still.

But now I laugh at what I was. The silly hopeless romantic teenager who thought that he can shape his world all on his own. Who thought things were way too simple. Growing up does make a lot of changes. I think, as long as we can look back and have good laugh about the whole thing, its fine. I remember talking to this guy in first year of college (I forgot his name, I remember his face. He was in the next room), about how I have my entire life planned out in front of me. Do the BE, get the job, get married to G, and live happily for ever after. :D But oh, before the end of Engineering, I figured thats not how its gonna be. Things changed. And then ME happened, and a lot more changed. And once education was done, the whole shit turned around. And, now I look back at the whole series of events and am laughing my ass off :D.

Was talking to some of my high-school friends a couple of weeks back on IM, and I suddenly got pulled into the old world because they thought I was still the same guy. The hopeless romantic desperately waiting for the glance my lady. It was in a way awkward, but good that I figured that shit happens and decided to just laugh about it. Same way I smiled away when rajay got a heart-attack seeing me stylishly light up a cancer stick with my zippo. Well, back in college I used to get sick when someone smokes near me. :P

Hmmm.. life is so fucking funny. Now, I know that in another 10 years down the lane I'll laugh at what I am doing now :P I guess change is the only constant. And drafting elaborate plans is just futile. Heh. Just got to sit back and take things the way they come.. :D

LOL. started with that javascript/ajax book and look where I got to.. I say whiskey rocks. :) Now am in a good mood to do some reading. Guess I'll get a refill and get back to that book ;)

EDIT 1: Ah.. ran out of cancer sticks.. Grr.. Ah.. "Purple haze.. in my head..", forgot to mention.. Jimi Hendrix rocks. Rocks totally. :)


ever tried sake??

Recently had an opportunity to down quite a lot of sake.. The alcohol in it was quite blatant suggesting that it was added explicitly and not naturally brewed. Short-cuts from the brewing industry. I was definitely fine (up and jumping around till 7:00 in the morn). The moment I crashed, sake took over, split my head into two and did not let me sleep. One of the worst hangovers ever.

But cannot blame the sake entirely. I had quite some lager.. and once that was over, even some strong beer.

One thing I noticed about alcohols which are clear in color.. they dont have a taste and they feel like crap. Ah, not to mention vodka.


black snake moan..

Saw this movie quite a long time back. However, keep going back to it just to hear this one song in it..

I ain't played for nobody in years
I wanted me some kids, a whole mess of them.
But for Rose, my wife, kids is for another time.

Then one spring,
I seened a change in her
Her breasts started swelling up
Couple of mornings, hear her in the bathroom throwing up
I done seen it in other women before,
so I knew.

Rose said she had to go to Jackson,
visit her folks,
and she ain't wanted me to go,
so I stayed here.

You know how they talk about a woman having that glow?
She didn't have it no more.
She done cut it out.
Got rid of it.

That voice in my head,
every time I think it's gone,
it comes howling back.

Calls me when I'm ailing,
when I can't find my way home.
Lost in the pines
I calls it the Black Snake Moan.

Black snake all in my room
Black snake all in my room
Some pretty mamma
Better get this black snake soon

Black snake is evil
Black snake is all I see

Woke up this morning
Black snake moved in on me.

EDIT 1 (07-04-2008 16:43:58) : Forgot to mention, Christina Ricci is topless for atleast half the movie..


work.. work..

Have been quite busy lately. Havent had the time to do anything fun.. This bucket full of coffee powder residue is proof to that.. :-(

Well yeah yeah it does look gross. I'll probably plant a rose plant in it.. :P


calvin: the philosopher



Oh my beautiful.. when I close my eyes,
I remember the way you tasted,
The texture of your body,
The compelling smell,
And the way you made me feel.
Not so different from a woman..
Just a way lot better.


What can be better than a glass of whiskey, a fine cigar and "The Doors"..


How life changes us

Was thinking about how I used to think a couple of years back. My opinions and stand on things. And, was wondering how the change has happened so silently and steadily. Call it growing up or maturing or whatever. I am quite disgusted by the fact that at times we become hypocrites in the process. Once strong opinions that melt away to more lenient ways. And lenient, taking shape as strong opinions. Be it mere cannabis or tobacco or women.



I hate to see what I have become,
The things I had to do, to fantasize my happiness.
Deep inside, I know I am being the person I am not.
I burnt my finger in doing this,
And, that did not mean anything.
Cant see myself fall. Have seen that too many times before.
I am washing this paint off my face,
And I aint painting any more.



Lab technician [LB]: You got to reduce your computer use.

Me: Er.. that earns my bread.

LB: I am surprised at how you are walking around without glasses.

Me: Well, I dont need them other than to read something or check out a babe.

LB: Well, you'll just screw em up all the more..

Hmm.. damn. damn. damn. there goes another 27 hundreds.


The High..

It forces me to close my eyes,
Lean back, throw my arms wide,
Feel so happy that I could cry with a smile,
Pushing all those deadlines aside.
Even grass cant give what music can,
A high that words would do injustice to.

Listened to 'Jimi Hendrix - Purple Haze' for the first time.



We are not the sons of God
We are not his chosen people now
We have crossed the path he trod
We will feel the pain of his beginning


Am I an algorithm?

When was the last time you decided to take off from the world? I took a minute to think about what I do everyday. And, I see that its like a computer program with no loose ends. Every state is well defined and there is nothing other than predefined that is happening. Calendars, schedules, appointments, meetings... I definitely dont think that it is meaningless. However, I definitely feel like a robot.

Hmm.. Am I getting old?

Whatever, I am getting away in the end of this month for a two day camp out in the jungles. Two days of beer, weed and mountains should do some good.


smoke the city

Well done people. In a matter of two hours, even before the sun could come up, you guys have managed to smoke the city up so badly that one can barely see the road 10 meters ahead.


another year :-S

'Only the tame birds have a longing. The wild ones fly.'

So once again
Another New Year's Eve will ease our pain
Faith for the few
And rites that will make us so brave
So new
We laugh and we cheer for a Happy New Year

Candles burn down
And in the darkness future comes around
We smile - all aware
But never speaking of the masks we wear

Turning mirrors upside down
Won't make dust fall off the ground
Hiding wounds won't ease the pain
Sleep won't make you whole again

Change the inside!
...drink the rain...

Dressing our words
Seeing the dirt and flaws inside us hurts
One final glass
A sour taste from our promises
I bid farewell and crawl out of my shell

I'm awake!
I see the mistakes I make
Hiding wounds won't ease the pain
Sleep won't make you whole again
Change the inside...

Today I found a seed of sorrow
The harvest leaves a soil of shame
Now I undress and face tomorrow
And brave I walk to meet the blame

I'll search my home outside these borders
I'll run to meet up with the past
A Resolution for the New Life
This time I know it's gonna last

And I will...
Change the inside
Drink the rain
Open my wounds to heal the pain

Learn the work of The Machine...

christmas... :D

And, it was supposed to be a christmas party ;)