That drop of sweat which dodged every curve on my face was now at the tip of my nose and was threatening to fall and break the silence. My heart was pounding hard enough to remind me that its still working.
"Do you want a tissue to wipe your sweat dear" Ah I remember that voice, Mrs.Towers., my kindergarden teacher. A sudden rush of comfort fills me and I look up to see my clone looking at me lovingly. But.. Her face changes slowly and I see Mrs.Towers standing there with that broad smile. I took one step closer and she fades into the dark.
"Repent for your sins child. Ask god for forgiveness". Father Gilligan, the headmaster with his ever stern look was looking at me from the corner of the room. I remembered how I used to be scared of that cane he carried. I searched for the cane in his hands, but he was carrying my handbag. I look up again to see myself with that stern look that seemed so familiar.
"Which side is North lady?? Which side"., Mr.Sampath screamed at the top of his voice. The way he tortured me with that stupid compass and map during my guides camps. How he made me dig pits and pick up junk to get a badge so that I may get enough credits to graduate.
Why is everybody here changing to look like me? "This world is maya. What you see, smell, feel is maya" That was the yoga guy Mr.Srinivasa whom my mom pushed me to every weekend. Gawd how I hated his rant. His eerie smile was not helping the situation. But., wait what is he trying to say.
"Srini sir., what is this place. Where are we"
"You know it child. I told you all the time. You never believed."
"What are you talking about?"
"I told you it was all maya.. now you know"
"What? wait dont go away.. waaaiiitttttttttt"
He is gone too. This is maya? Great., that is the last bit I wanted to hear. So., what is all this. Am in some sort of an after world seeing that every person I saw in my life was none but myself? Is that the whole point of this thing?
"No., there is more"
"Praveen... you are here too? Gawd I was getting freaked out"
"No Meg. You are desperate to know what and why. The same way I felt that night when you dumped me."
"Er., nice time for you to pick on me Praveen.."
"Heh.. I have nothing to pick on. Its all yours."
Now what is this jerk talking. Fine., I guess I just have to sit and wait for this God guy to turn up and say that I've sinned quite a bit and I'd have to rot in hell. Heh., God. The puppet man. So., if he did exist, what is he doing up there? Sitting and watching his own puppet show? How jobless is that? And., all that super sci-fi stunt just to show me that he is there?
"God?? Did you just think of god?" That was preethy. No. This time i'm not turning around. What difference is it going to make by turning around and realizing she is none but me. So what? have I been offended by and offending myself in differnt forms all my life? Why this whole game. If every body that I come across is just me, why bother going through the trouble of socializing, understanding, playing along and junk. Why this social fabric.
"Hello., I'm Meg" The hooded guy does not even turn. So., who is this guy now? Will he turn out to be some hunk on the billboard. Heh., i wish.
Finally he talked., "Which part of yourself do you call Meg?" Well., that was a tricky question. "Fine sir., where are we going?"
"We?? How different am I from you? Is there an I and a You?"
"Alright. I've had enough of this. Where am I going?"
The pretty-woman needed no effort to make every head turn. The ugly-guy was everything that she was not. pretty-woman is looking at him begging attention. ugly-guy is analyzing the next table slutty-woman's ass. pretty-woman sighs, sips her drink and pretends she did not notice.
I nod to the waiter to fill my empty glass.
pretty-woman acts like following a news channel., when the sound is muted behind the blaring music. ugly-guy's eyes were stuck on the slutty-woman's ass and he spills the drink on his shirt. pretty-woman frantically pulls tissues and cleans his collar. ugly-guy turns to look at her. pretty-woman slowly clutches his shirt as she cleans his collar. ugly-guy nods and takes his gaze back to where it was.
I nod a thanks to the waiter and start swirling the glass to chill the whiskey.
slutty-woman walks out. ugly-guy asks the pretty-woman to excuse him for a moment and walks out too. pretty-woman's gaze slowly falls to the floor. pretty-woman pretends to wipe the oil from her face with a tissue and dries the tear that was threatening to fall.
all the world wants you, but what you want does not. what is it that you see in him, that makes you blind to the world around?
oh my gawd. you are just another idiot who keeps cribbing 'oh she cheated me'.. bah! grow up.
Well., and I took time to go back and read my own posts to see what it would mean to another person from their shoes, and I guess I realize that what this person sees of me from these last dozen posts is just a picture of what I threw at the world to see. Whether it was right for the person to sum me up from these dozen posts is not something i'm going to sit and judge.
YES., I dump all the shit from my head in this blog, maybe because i dont get to dump it anywhere else. However the point is., I dump em all and am happy with my life., so what the hell.
If people are judged by their momentary lapse of reasoning., ignoring what they actually are., so be it. I'll be a loser.
NO., I'm not a guzzler because of she-1 or she-2 or she-3., and also not because of she-1.1 or she-1.2 or she-2.1. Maybe if you liked the taste of beer like the way i do., you'll understand. For ignorant people it is always taboo.